Will I ever be able to sit in a warm room again? Will I ever be able to soak-up the sunshine like I used to? Will I ever be able to do all the things I used to do before all of this happened? I had so many questions racing around my mind, I didn't know whether I would ever be back to normal.
During this period of my recovery, my skin was still very sensitive and it would flush as soon as I felt any type of heat on it. I would also flush if I ate anything, even cold food. Therefore, I would go out of my way to avoid warm rooms, hot food and sunshine. Looking back now, this was hugely exacerbated by the anxiety I felt when faced with new situations. My thought-processes would spiral out of control to the point where I would remove myself from every situation in order to relieve the anxiety.
Although I was beginning to feel a little bit better every day, I was still unable to be spontaneous or make plans in case I had to cancel at the last minute. There were moments when I felt despair that I would never get my life back to the way it was pre-steroid cream. I felt as though the happy Holly that existed before, was gone forever. Then I felt the warm ball of light inside of me and I got through each day knowing that the next would be a little bit better than the last. The skin is an amazing organ and I willed it with every ounce of my being to heal and make a full recovery.