I Can See A Future
The heavy thoughts that I had been carrying around with me for many years seemed to dissipate and become less important as my strength grew. Every day, I pushed myself to achieve something different. I caught the train and I ate hot food in front of people. I sat next to my radiator in layers of clothes and to my absolute delight, I sat in the sunshine on a glorious spring day. I subsequently booked a holiday to Ibiza and got a great tan! The sun really helped to reduce the dermatitis on my face, (UV rays apparently kill the fungi Malassezia present on the skin of sufferers that contribute to the inflammatory nature of Seb Derm).
Over the next few months, I felt as free as a bird. The shackles that had bound me to my negative thoughts and low self-esteem for a majority of my life, were no longer there. I did things that I never thought I would ever be able to do again. I enrolled on an amazing business course run by School For Creative Startups for which I had to go for an interview in London to talk about my business idea. After many seminars and meeting my 100 class-mates, I organised my 'showcase'; a 4-day event held at Somerset House where I spoke to lots of people and tried to spread the word about Lotus Girl Travel.
The most important step for me however was getting back to work. I adored working at the Salehurst Halt and being able to work behind the bar on a hot busy night, making conversation with the locals was the most significant milestone in my recovery. I loved the banter and I was so happy to be a part of it again. The first shift was tricky and I would escape to the cool cellar if I got overwhelmed by the situation. I was steadfast in my mission though and each shift was easier than the last and my confidence grew every day. My love of going to work out-weighed my insecurities about my skin. I had gained perspective and I was so pleased that I was moving forward.